its sad when beyonce cant even get you out of your stupid little funk. always a funk with me, always. 



i honestly could just cry all the time about the way i look. 



if it annoys me so much that i cant let things go then why dont i just do it? right? i’ve honestly been doing so much better. but sometimes when the person is normal and back to their normal self and having fun that even pisses me off cause i know its just gonna go back to whatever act their pulling tomorrow. 



couldnt agree with this more.

flaw: i hold grudges



im so fucking tired of everything. i cant even have energy to do something about it. ive given up but i dont want to. I want to feel bette and i want to be better. im just lost as how to do that. a new body and or life would be perfect at a time like this. 



stop itching.

my grandmom just had a heart attack today and i literally have been in a daze ever since i found out. Everything came like a bullet. alll the memories just me. the last time i saw her what we did what i said to her. it all came crashing into me. and your mind and body doesnt even realize it i feel. i felt like a zombie with watery eyes for a good hour. luckily i PRAY TO GOD that i really think she will be okay for now. its was just such a scary thought. and feeling no words fully describe how i felt. i love my grandmom with everything of me and i always will. and breathe woop. 

i wonder if im not doing what i love. and i also wonder is it because im not doing it i dont love it and im not supposed to do it..